How to Overcome Anticipation Anxiety

You know that feeling of ‘IMPENDING DOOM’ that you experience when something that you are scared of is coming up soon? 

Well, that’s our good ol’ friend, anticipation anxiety.

I’m sure that you have ALL experienced a time when you thought that a future event was going to be super difficult, or scary – an exam or test, for example.

You may spend days (or weeks, even) worrying excessively about the event, and then, guess what happens? 

It turns out that it wasn’t even close to as difficult or scary as your mind made it out to be!

(*If you struggle with worrying, and want to better understand how to stop this habit, then check out my recent post: Six easy ways to overcome worrying.)

In fact, sometimes the anticipation anxiety can cause MORE stress and grief than the actual event itself.

So, how can we deal with anticipation anxiety before it begins to wrap us around its little finger? Well, I’m here to tell you!

How to overcome anticipation anxiety

1. Focus on the positives.

We can’t predict the future.

What that means is, just as much as you believe that something negative will happen, there is also an equal opportunity for something positive to ensue. Instead of fixating on the potential negatives, try to instead bring the positives into the forefront of your mind.

One simple and quick way to do this is to write a list.

I like to write this in a safe space like my journal because it means that I can easily refer back to it any time that I notice my negative thoughts creeping in.

Here is an example of a list of positives that I recently wrote down related to my return to work post maternity leave:

-Seeing my friends and coworkers

-Having more opportunity for stimulating adult conversations

-Having ‘me’ time 

-Getting out of the house

-Having a reason to dress up (get out of my leggings!)

-Earning money!

-Learning to let go of some of the control I take on while caring for my toddler

These are all things that I’m actually REALLY excited about returning to work for. However, when I focus on the negatives, these positives easily get overshadowed.

If you’re having trouble finding ANY positives in a future situation then try to answer the following question – ‘what does this future situation have the ability to teach me?’

There are ALWAYS positives in difficult or scary situations if you take a look at what you will learn from them.

2. Become aware, then INTERRUPT or STOP.

I have talked about this technique time and time again in my blog posts.

Becoming MINDFUL of your habit to have NEGATIVE THOUGHTS or NEGATIVE VISUALIZATIONS about the future is the first step to change.

Once you notice that the thought or visualization is there – tell it to STOP. Actually say this to yourself.

If the stop technique isn’t working well enough, then interrupt the thought or visualization by coming back to the present moment.

How can you easily become present to THIS moment?

1. Focus on your breathing (Check out my blog post: Meditation for beginners if focussing on your breath is new to you, or if you need a refresh)

2. Using the 5-senses technique:

What are 5 things that I can see? 

What are 4 things that I can feel right now?

What are 3 things that I can hear in this moment? 

What are 2 things that I can smell? 

What is one thing that I can taste? 

3. Use imagery.

Your mind is powerful; visualizing yourself successfully getting through or completing the future task that you are worried about can help to boost your confidence surrounding the situation. Your mind and body begin to believe ‘hey, I can get through this!’ The more confidence you have in yourself, the less scary the event becomes. 

4. Relax your physical body. 

Anticipation anxiety causes our physical bodies to become tense.

Why? It is natural for our body to respond to a scary event (even if it’s in the future) by eliciting the stress response – AKA, we go into ‘fight or flight’ mode which involves tensing of the muscles.

So, one way to help your body understand that there is currently no fear to fight, is by physically relaxing your body. 

I have three go-to relaxation techniques when I’m feeling physically tense:

1. Body scan meditation. This involves progressive muscle relaxation by sending your breath into different parts of your body.
2. Have a nice warm shower or bath. (Note: Amp up the feeling of relaxation in your shower with NO ADDED WORK by checking out my post: A simple shower meditation.)
3.  Become a witness. Witness how your emotion makes your body feel physically. The key is to notice the feeling without judging or resisting it, but instead just allowing space for it.

5. Write a note to yourself as though you are talking to a loved one.

I love this idea!

We are ALWAYS more compassionate and kind to a friend than we are to ourselves, so why not pretend you’re talking to your bestie?

How would you support them if they were afraid of a situation in the near future?

I tried this recently and was surprised at how much support I was able to get from myself.

6. Challenge your distorted thoughts. 

With anticipation anxiety, we believe that our worries have 100% truth to them; yet in actuality, our worries are often distorted in nature (meaning they don’t have a lot of evidence to support them). See the infograph below.

How likely is it that this worry will ACTUALLY come true?

If it did, how would you cope?

Do you often have worries about future events that are similar to this one?

Can the thought be categorized into one of the following cognitive distortions?

7. Remind yourself of your anticipation anxiety habit.

Sometimes I feel a sense of peace and calm by reminding myself that my anticipation anxiety is often ACTUALLY WORSE than the event itself. It’s as if knowing that I am already partially through the battle helps to provide me with some added ease.

I really feel like it’s possible to lessen your anticipation anxiety by using these techniques.

I have personally used many of them over the past few weeks as I anticipate my return to work and I KNOW that they are helping. I feel much more at ease than I ever expected myself to be at this point so I hope that they can help for you too!

Much love,

Carolyn